Pretending
by C. Hawthorne
Summary: In which, while compromisingly positioned, Gino and Kallen overhear a few inappropriate remarks from a eulogy-reading Emperor who's very partial to letting things slip. cracky/angsty. written for the kinkmeme.


Hello, world. The following is the product of another night of my unabashed lurking on the kinkmeme (which has been received _tremendously _well, I'm so happy!), as well as insomnia. I was writing Violetta when I looked through the posts for inspiration, and I came across yet another prompt that caught my attention.

"_After the battle of Damocles, Gino and Kallen are hiding out together, being very upset and lonely as Lelouch is busy taking over the world and hunting down remaining Black Knights._

_The two of them have a bit to drink as they watch Suzaku's fancy state funeral, and then have sex on the couch with the funeral still going in the background, while Lelouch gives the eulogy._

_If you want the fic to be angst you can stick with that; if you want it to be lulzy, Lelouch in the middle of his eulogy for Suzaku starts being very inappropriate and talking about DAT ASS and what Suzaku was like in bed - while Gino and Kallen have started having sex."_

I kind of went both routes. It's really kind of fucked up in the end, but if Code Geass doesn't set the precedent for fucked-up fanfiction than I don't know what fandom does.

_**Playing Pretend**_

Usually, their tiny, fuzzy television shows them reruns of shows they never watch, or dislike.

Usually, they are able to pretend that the world they once knew never existed, and that this is all there is.

Gino realizes rather quickly that that fantasy is just a fantasy one day when he turns on the television and sees Lelouch vi Britannia, a man who drove himself and Kallen into hiding (and other things) in the first place.

He sits on the couch, unable to tear his eyes away from the screen; it's Suzaku's funeral service, an elegant affair complete with a eulogy read by His Majesty himself, who spoke from behind a white podium that so matches his imperial clothing.

The blond feels Kallen stirring beside him.

"I'm not sure why," Gino says, glancing at the screen with a little less than revulsion but a bit more than mild disgust, "but it seems like Lelouch is… smiling."

Kallen looks up, her eyes half-lidded. She'd been pretty close to falling asleep. Her heart palpitates. "Why are you watching that?"

The blond doesn't reply—in fact, he turns up the volume. "Morbid curiosity?" he tries, but her unforgiving gaze doesn't falter. "Look, I—I'm sorry, I'll turn it off if—"

"No," quickly Kallen tries to think of any plausible way to escape the situation without alerting Gino just how broken up she is over watching the whole thing (because the sight of Lelouch, regardless of circumstance, will always stir not-so-subtle depression within her). "Let's do something else."

Gino cocks his head; she's always liked his way of not asking questions. "Okay, sure. What did you have in mff—" he's cut off by a pair of lips, his eyes open wide as Kallen moves to straddle his lap; under different circumstances he'd ask questions, deliberate, analyze, _something_—but those circumstances usually do not involve both of them having shared a bottle of wine during a storytelling session (most of it consisting of different events that transpired _before_ Lelouch vi Britannia declared himself Emperor), and his own hormones shot through the roof due to weeks—a month, maybe, if subconsciously admiring Kallen and talking himself out of acting on it.

So Gino breathes out his inhibitions, and he breathes in Kallen, as much as he can with their mouths pressed together so firmly. In the background the perpetually sanguine voice of Emperor Lelouch continues, "His physical prowess and dedication were things to be admired as they usually are not so well-bestowed upon men…"

"Can't we… turn it off…" he questions her, greedily taking in what little air he can as her hand trails down his front, flicking open the clasp of one of the few pairs of pants he'd managed to salvage before they went into hiding, "Distracting…"

She kisses him again, more fiercely, and his pupils are as blown as his conscience once her hand _moves_ down there, flush against him—"An excellent swordsman with skills to be envied by even the most practiced of that art… possessing a moral compass much stronger than most of us…" at that the Emperor smiles wistfully but neither of them see it; Gino is too busy shoving his hands up her overlong shirt, rutting at her clothed crotch, losing total control of his breath and his morals alike (because it doesn't matter that it's _Kallen_—it wouldn't matter who it was).

"Don't talk," she implores, her voice uncharacteristically rough, "Please don't talk."

So he doesn't, but Lelouch does. "I never questioned Suzaku's promises or vows, with good reason as this man, among very few others, was one who always kept his word…" With hazy eyes Gino watches the screen, the Emperor's white-clad form blurring though it's only a few feet away—oh god, she's on him, and—it feels too good for him to care about anything else.

She bites her lip, face buried in the crook of Gino's neck—he smells woodsy, really, which is rather strange considering she's always thought he'd be a bit more sweet-scented. And less virginal, too (because he really can't hide how hard all the sensation hits him or how fervent his breathing is), but none of that is of any real consequence now because she doesn't have to look at Lelouch's face, or hear him talk about Suzaku in that damned voice, the one he lays on words when he wants people to believe them.

It only irks her further that everything he's saying is true.

"I—ahnnn," Gino's head tips back, eyes pinched closed, and he's rocking up into her faster; her stomach twines not-uncomfortably and she finds herself aiding him in the task to establish a rhythm, her control on her vocal chords growing painfully short. Kallen can't believe she didn't think of this earlier (because he's one of those _naturally talented_ virgins), though at some point in their forced companionship she's sure the thought must have crossed his mind. "Can't—hold—"

"You can," she breathes, slowing her hips a bit as if to emphasize that point, "you… c…" his grip tightens on her breasts and the sensation from that as well as the much more pronounced one between her legs is certainly driving Kallen close to the edge as well—but it can't be done yet because _Lelouch_ isn't done yet—

"Suzaku was a loyal knight, a true perfectionist in the way he served his Emperor… let us see…"

Kallen throws her head back and there's a biting feeling in her side; Gino's breathing is labored to the point of no return and she knows, with a low pain in her chest, that she'll just have to relent and make herself listen to Lelouch (because honestly, she's the one with the _genuine_ morbid curiosity, and they only have one channel anyway).

Gino splinters and breaks and he comes, hard; Kallen follows him, her spasming insides contracting around his cock and for a moment pulling her away from their pitiful little hideout, from the fact that the man beneath her is blond and not black-haired, away from everything…

She slumps, unceremoniously against Gino; his arms are around her in a gesture perhaps as awkward as it is affectionate.

Sweating, hair mussed, Kallen's head swivels and she's watching Lelouch again, perfect Lelouch with his pristine uniform and his way of remaining calm—almost too calm—even when discussing the death of his Knight of Zero.

"Perhaps it would be more effective if I," the Emperor clears his eloquent throat, "were to enlighten you all using more specific examples…"

Gino breathes in her ear, "You don't want to watch it, do you."

"No," she replies, just as breathless, canting her hips up and feeling him slip out of her. Awkwardly, they look at each other—

Before he pushes her back down on the couch, his tongue invading her mouth.

"For instance when the Knight of Zero would bow before his Emperor and suck his dick… well." The Emperor laughs, a fluttery sound, "It was what it was. He'd so obediently open his mouth and comply with anything he was told… oh, how his services are missed."

Kallen breaks the kiss and nearly cricks her neck to look at the screen; did he really just say what she thinks he did—? But the audience is coughing, tittering amongst themselves and she knows she didn't imagine any of it.

To make matters worse, Lelouch continues, "Moreover, Kururugi Suzaku was… very willing to try any position he was asked to. He would only disobey me when I told him he could… ah, how I wish there were more young men like him in the world…" and the look on his face is disgustingly pained as he remembers Suzaku—Kallen looks at Gino then at the screen again.

"Well," the blond blinks, mouth agape. "Well." He kisses her again.

She pinches her eyes closed and pulls away from him, her heart pounding. _Lelouch, you… with him?_ The envy she feels is definitely childish considering Kururugi Suzaku is _dead_ and however much she may have disliked him it doesn't make any sense to feel that way—but that doesn't mean she still isn't adding it all up in her head…

"Whenever His Majesty would be feeling down on himself," Lelouch goes on, that, well, empirical voice as powerful as ever, "The Knight of Zero would be a very attentive, kind lover… that is unless the Emperor was in the mood for him to be unkind. Suzaku was a strong man, morally, but of course his loyalties to me were so finely tuned… ahh, I even remember an instance I ordered him to take me on my throne…"

The implications—actually, they're confirmations—hurt Kallen, but of course that pain is dulled by the heat of alcohol and post-coital warmth in her veins… and Lelouch has always kept things from her anyway, ever since the beginning…

(And considering the way he and Suzaku would look at one another, even back at Ashford, the probability of their eventually becoming lovers was really quite high).

"He possessed a behind fine enough to bring a nation to arms," the Emperor's eyes glint but neither of them see. "His Majesty often considered, however improbable this may sound, bowing to his Knight in admiration for its magnificence…"

She looks into Gino's eyes. "I don't understand anything anymore," and her voice is as heavy as her heart; but then again it'll be okay. It's always going to be okay. As long as she feels this…emotionless.

He kisses her in response.

"In summation." Lelouch clears his throat again. "Kururugi Suzaku was truly a gem in every sense of the word. He was a visionary on both the battlefield and in the bedroom, a truly wonderful young man in every right, and I am honored, truly honored," he almost looks choked up but maybe that's a trick of the light, "That he served me, Lelouch vi Britannia…"

The rest of it is warbled and washed away by the merlot in her system and the tongue in her mouth—two things that, for tonight, will patch up the fissures in her heart.

.,.,.,..,.,.,.

"That he served me, Lelouch vi Britannia…"

_Suzaku Kururugi, 2000-2018_

A gloved hand flicks at the button on the television, and the image collapses in on itself until the screen is black. "I can't believe you."

"Can't you?" Lelouch's voice is boasting, amplified by the emptiness of the room they're in. "You said yourself that I have a love for theatrics."

Suzaku looks away, his green eyes dark with some unknown emotion. "You made a mockery of me, Lelouch…"

"What will it matter, Suzaku Kururugi? You're dead," Lelouch says with a dry smile. "Soon, Zero will be all that remains."

"Theatrics again," the younger boy says, his voice tough as he crosses the room to look at the costume of Zero, dimly lit by the bulb Lelouch installed above it (which he laments rather strongly because for the past few days it's all he's been able to look at). "I'll back out if you tell me to."

(Lelouch will never tell him to.)

"I know you will. You do everything I say."

Suzaku stares at his feet.

"Because you love me."

A broken noise echoes through the room; it takes the Emperor a moment to realize it was Suzaku exhaling. "I never meant to tell you that."

"The wonders of alcohol." The older sweeps his hair out of his eyes, adjusting his hat. "How many things has it broken and mended, do you think? Anyway, I was flattered… if you recall."

"I do." (Suzaku remembers how he tried all too hard to take the words back, but in doing that he'd only made it all the more obvious—and then Lelouch had fucked him on his knees wearing that goddamn Emperor's outfit, and he'd said it again. The number of times is still indeterminate.) "I wanted to tell you some other time."

"Do you think it would have made a difference?"

Suzaku thinks it over. "No."

"Because what is going on here, my Knight." (Lelouch says those words but something inside Suzaku aches to hear the title from the girl who died much, much too soon.) "Is much bigger than the two of us could ever be. Our Zero Requiem… must take precedence over all other things. Even what I want from you at this very moment."

The brunet's eyes close; he exhales through his nose. "Your Majesty, please don't."

"What's the matter? Are you going to pretend like you don't want me now?"

For a moment something crosses Suzaku's face—it's the pride he once wore so frequently as a child, now undermined by the lifelessness of his eyes. "I can't pretend with you. It's pointless."

"Then get on your knees like Suzaku Kururugi would."

And damned if he doesn't obey the man he took an oath he always would, in the way Lelouch bragged so shamelessly about on television and praised him for in private; damned if he doesn't pretend he isn't hear Lelouch grunt and talk to him like he's nothing ("open your mouth, slut"); he tries with the very best he has to push it all from his mind.

(Most specifically when they were younger, friends.) When he didn't have to spend every waking moment wrenching his guts out, imagining himself killing Lelouch. And most of all, when he thought Lelouch loved him.

Suzaku pretends this is the way it's supposed to be, because it was never, _ever_ supposed to be like this.

Lelouch pretends he doesn't see his Knight's tears.

.,.,.,.,

Why is it I love writing fucked up relationships so much? Seriously, there's this, Exceptional Service, and of course Violetta (which will soon be the very epitome of fucked up, as soon as I update it).

Maybe I'm just strange.

ANYWAY, I originally just planned to make it angsty without Lelouch's little foray into his and Suzaku's sex life, but I, with my twisted perception, thought it would be very IC for Lelouch to mess with Suzaku like that due to boredom between taking over the world and laughing manically, and we all know the Demon Emperor loves a good overdramatic speech. The fucking-with-Suzaku part is probably just a bonus.

Buh, I'm so tired.

Go visit the meme, would you please? Even if you don't fill anything, just go read some stuff! You won't be wasting your time, trust me.

Later!


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